luni , 22 ianuarie 2018

Ellen DeGeneres: Random Things That Might Help You But Probably Won’t

Ellen DeGeneresphoto

• Never make your bed with a monkey in it.

• Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn’t enough. You also have to move your chair.

• There’s no attractive way to get a cherry pit out of your mouth.

•When making a right turn onto a busy street, always check the crosswalk for children’s imaginary friends.

• Everyone looks better in fuchsia.

• If you have portraits of yourself up all over your house, people are going to think you’re conceited. Replace them with portraits of me.

• When moving heavy objects, I know they say to lift with your knees. I’ve always found it easier to lift with my arms.

• Rest rooms are not for resting.

• When your eye twitches, it means your body wants you to wink rapidly at whomever is sitting across from you.

• If you like winning, never play hide-and-seek with a chipmunk.

• Answering every question with “You got it, girlfriend!” can apparently be irritating to others.

• “Kerfuffle” is an actual word.

• At a four-way stop sign, the person with the prettiest eyes has the right of way.

Ellen deGeneres Seriously I'm Kiddingphoto

 Excerpt from the hilarious book “Seriously… I’m Kidding” written by Ellen DeGeneres and published by Grand Central Publishing, in 2011.

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